Searching for Happiness – Beginning the Journey

Hello my lovelies! I have some thoughts I would like to share today about this whole searching for happiness thing.

First of all, I think we can all agree that no one truly knows what they are doing in this world.

“We all have an edge. We all are floating our psyche on top with a great ocean underneath.”
Brad Dourif

You picking up what im putting down?

Throughout my series on searching for happiness I have been searching for not only happiness but also relative and helpful content for myself and for you wonderful readers. Through my own discoveries and the discoveries of others I have pooled together a semi foolproof guide to provide those who are starting on their own happiness journey. Which I will be sharing next week. Got excited there for a minute didn’t you?

For now I am left with the question, for myself and for you…

What does the beginning of the searching for happiness journey look like?

Why are you searching? What are you looking for?

I don’t know why you are searching but I can tell you when my search began. For me it was  3  years ago. I had gone through a lot up until this point in my life, going through these brand new adult motions. It was as if the universe was forcing me out of my bubble and towards my true self. It was not an easy transition and I resisted it.

Alas, the sea of change was moving and me along with it, whether I liked it or not.

Within a few short months my entire life was completely changed. I was living alone for the first time, I had a new job, there were family illnesses, turmoil with friends. It seemed like everything and anything that could be different was different.

But the biggest difference was me.

When the dust settled on this new life I saw through the clouds a new me. A very unsure and confused me. Standing among what remained of my former life I was was left thinking…

Who is going to make me happy now?

It was the first time in my short completely unwise life that I realized that I and I alone was responsible for 100% of the happiness in my life.

Not friends, family, a job, a boy. No one. Just me.

How come no one tells you these things? Society plays tricks on the young.

Through the drastic messy changes of my life I was able for the first time to come into contact with the real me. What I like, what I want to do, what I want to be. Not what my friends wanted me to be, or family, or society. Who I wanted to be.

Happiness comes from getting in touch with the real you. From learning how to take care of yourself and doing what makes your soul smile, for no one else but you.

Happiness is just the right amount of selfish, with a pinch of courage to change or embrace change.

So if you have just gone through an emotional upheaval or a inner awakening then you are more than likely coming to terms with the fact that you are the one who got you here and you can decide to use your location as a point of good or evil for your future self.

When change is in the air you can embrace it, learn from it, take it as an opportunity to grow for the better from a place of love and kindness. Or…. you can blame those who have “wronged” you, wallow in the past, mourn for what could have been, hold a grudge and a chip on your shoulder.

Seriously think about this.

So many people blame others for their unhappiness (myself included). Hold grudges that only harm them, and sit on feelings of regret for their entire lives. Am I being too dramatic? Maybe…

But you could be one of those people.

Look in the mirror and think. What is making me unhappy? What changes have I resisted? Who am I blaming?

Then ask yourself. How can I take control and change this situation?

It might be the most empowering thing you ever do.


When I was left to a new life the first and most liberating thing I did was let go of a lot of blame. Those feelings only hurt me, and gave me no power.

The second thing I did was embrace the things that I had control of. I embraced the control I had in my own life to be happy.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I am still pretty spitey. I blame people sometimes. I react without thinking, and do a bunch of other useless things that make me unhappy. However I am on the path to happiness because I see them now for what they are, useless feelings that keep me and you further from happiness.

So if you are beginning your journey towards happiness and you have been brought here because of change in your life I commend you to take control and embrace it. All change can be good change, and you can control how you feel about every situation. If something has made you unhappy, find a way to change the situation. You have that power.

Beginning the journey is going to be difficult, strange and a little unsettling. ?Embrace it! It will be hard, some beliefs you had about yourself and others might end up being very different than what you previously thought. Embrace that difference.

Whether it’s changing careers, making new friends, having a child, getting married, traveling, buying a new house. Whatever it is that you are working towards on your journey to happiness don’t forget to look within in the beginning.

In the beginning analyse your motive. Are you acting for someone else’s happiness or are you acting for your own? Is it society pushing you towards “happiness”? Your friends? A relationship? It’s not a negative thing to be motivated or to want someone you care about to be happy. However, remember it’s your journey. You are the one who needs to decide what makes you happy at the end of the day. Live for yourself first and the journey will be a lot more clear.

Stay tuned next week for… A step by step guide to searching for happiness.



  1. lakeafton | 11th Aug 16

    Some good insights here.

  2. renedith | 11th Aug 16

    So very nicely written, quite transparent. How exciting for you! Thank you, ren

    • StephJ | 11th Aug 16

      Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂

  3. geminilvr | 11th Aug 16

    Great advice. I found that forgiving those who have hurt me has been the first step to happiness.

    • StephJ | 11th Aug 16

      It is essential! Thanks for reading 🙂

  4. Simple Breathing | 11th Aug 16

    Great post! I was having a difficult time, and ur post gave me a fresh perspective!

    • StephJ | 11th Aug 16

      I am so glad you enjoyed the post! thank you for reading 🙂

  5. This wanderer | 11th Aug 16

    Just republish it! I’m looking forward to read your next steps!

    • StephJ | 12th Aug 16

      Thank you very much! 😊

  6. Strange Tripster | 14th Aug 16

    Interesting to be sure. What if I told you I had found happiness!?! True story. And, the best part is, I’m still finding it! Oh yes, dear friend, there is much to be said for most (not all) that metaphysical hippy dippy, new age shit! I made myself laugh (that’s part of finding it). The laughing bit. I’m looking forward to reading more about your journey

    • StephJ | 15th Aug 16

      That is excellent! Thank you

  7. Plectrumm | 15th Aug 16

    Change is constant…Big Bang to today? Letting go of the “absolute” mentality, that outcomes must fall within a narrow range for them to be considered “acceptable”?

    • StephJ | 15th Aug 16

      Very true. Holding out for all or nothing will set you up for unhappiness. Embarrassing change is a positive place to begin.

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