Searching for Happiness – The Benefits of Honesty

What is it about honesty that brings me so much joy? I feel so safe and reassured in the arms of honest words. Well, you know… if words had arms or whatever.

For many it is the opposite, happiness grows from blindness, from dishonesty, from “what I don’t know can’t hurt me.”

I guess there is truth in that also. What you don’t know can’t hurt you… yet.

But it can hurt you eventually. When you shield yourself from honesty and keep things from yourself and those you love then you are opening yourself up to a potentially large amount of completely avoidable pain in the future.

The truth is always out there. Always ready to reveal itself.

The safest place is to stand bravely in the rays of honesty. Soak in the truth, speak true words. That is the real way to protect yourself and maintain a healthy and happy life.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that there is a time for a little white lie every now and then. I understand that sometimes honesty does not have a choice but to be hidden. (cough cough, “Santa Claus”)  However I don’t know about you, but I like to keep these types of “white lies” or “fibs” few and far in between.

Honesty can hurt but nothing like the betrayal of a lie.

Let’s not put ourselves in little glass boxes. Let’s embrace the truth or at least try to be open to it. Jump into the scary waters and swim in the waves of truth. Be strong and dignified.

I understand that sometimes it’s hard, to be honest with ourselves and with those you love. There is a difficult balance between gentle honesty and brutal honesty. Too gentle and the truth may be lost, to brutal and you may damage the ego so much that the truth is also lost.

Keeping in mind that there is a balance to honesty and looking at the benefits that being honest can bring you can and will indeed help you on a path to a happier more comfortable state of mind, relationships, and life.

Personal Growth

Hearing the truth helps us truly grow. If it was not for that honest friend then maybe you would still be in that terrible relationship, if it wasn’t for your honest co-worker you may have never gotten that raise. How has others honesty helped you?

We need people in our lives to be honest with us, good news and bad news. If we surround ourselves with yes-men then we will only stay where we are. So appreciate those honest people in your life.

As an extension to that,  remember, to be honest with yourself. Don’t be your biggest critic, again learn the balance, but be honest. Could you have been nicer to that woman who cut you off in traffic? Do you need more you time? Have you fallen into unhealthy eating habits?

Be honest with yourself, be honest to those you love. Honesty allows for the perfect conditions for you and those you love to grow, honesty is a beautiful gift. Being open to it can be difficult in the beginning but guess what? It gets easier!

Reduce Stress

Worry is the number one cause of stress, humans worry about future events that have no power, or legitimacy as they have not happened yet. We worry about the future and obsess about the past.

So how does honesty help us with stress levels?

When you receive honesty from others you can rest confidently and push worry out of your mind. Having honest and open relationships with yourself and others is a wonderful way to cut stress down. Along with that, you don’t have to worry about keeping up with lies.

You can live openly and honestly stress-free.

Gain Self Confidence

So many people hide behind masks. So many people have masks for their masks. So caught up in the lies that they tell themselves and others that they don’t even know who they really are.

I get it. This life is hard, society tells us every day to lie. Tuck that little extra of yourself in this pair of Spanx to “be” tighter, wear these heels to “be” taller or thinner, buy this expensive car that you don’t need to “be” fancier, richer, whateverer

The Society in which we live strives on helping us to create fake images of ourselves for us to hide behind.

I understand that wanting to feel pretty in a dress while wearing Spanx is not a terrible horrible lie. However wouldn’t it be a stronger sign of confidence if you could just be yourself? Wouldn’t you feel more confident if you could take off the mask?

Show who you honestly are! I urge you! It might feel uncomfortable at first but as your honest true confident self-grows it will become second nature.

Be brave to tell people about that weird hobby of yours, be honest when you’re the only one at the party who doesn’t want to have a drink, be ok with being the lumpy girl in the little black dress.

If lumpy is what you are then be, lumpy and confident!

More Authentic Relationships

The best relationships in my life are the most honest. Because of the honesty of my close circle, I feel loved and cared for. It took me a long time to recognize that.

In my opinion, when people are brave enough, to be honest with you there is no surer sign of love. I am thankful to have people like that in my life. And you should be too!

Sometimes it’s hard to hear the truth. But as the saying goes…

“It’s better to be hurt by the truth than to be comforted by lies.”

This is so true when it comes to your relationships. As mentioned there is no better sign of someone’s love for you than them caring enough to give you the respect of their honesty.

Honesty is where true deep and meaningful relationships grow.


Become Stronger

Remember that little bit I said about the masks? Well, this applies here as well. When you put those fake little perfect masks of comfort on you are opening yourself up to be a victim in your life.

Victims are weak.

There is a certain strength that comes from being honest with yourself. Looking at the ugly parts of who you are is mega brave!

Telling people how you really feel, telling yourself how you really feel and maintaining the balance to know how to deliver that message is going to make you a strong and beautiful person inside and out.

If you have been hiding behind little lies in your life I urge you to push past them and embrace your honest and authentic self. One step at a time.

Value those honest relationships in your life and nurture within your ability to find that balance between gentle honesty and brutal honesty.

Happiness can be found in honesty, along with your true beautiful self! Promise!


  1. geminilvr | 24th Aug 16

    love this! I just blogged on the topic of someone calling me dishonest (Words can cut like a knife) and it has hurt me so much as I try to live my life as an open book. Honesty is the way to go

    • StephJ | 24th Aug 16

      I think so too! It’s hard sometimes to say what you mean or feel but honesty is a huge benefit! Glad you liked it. 🙂

  2. shreyathewriter | 24th Aug 16

    Great article on motivation. Fabulous

    • StephJ | 24th Aug 16

      Thank you! I am happy you enjoyed 🙂

  3. Wendy | 24th Aug 16

    Oh so true and often the hardest thing to do – particularly when it comes to looking deep within! x

  4. anna | 24th Aug 16

    i really loved this post, really great x

  5. People Rebuilders Foundation | 31st Aug 16

    Honestly I don’t know why anyone would prefer a lie

    • StephJ | 31st Aug 16

      I know! But you would be surprised by the scary amount of people out there who would rather live in a bubble then face the truth. Thank you for reading 🙂

  6. cherylfoston | 19th Sep 16

    Very nice post!

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